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The back and forth giving you a broken heart? Tell about it. Trust me, you aren't the only one. Say one thing, do another; its bound to drive a person crazy!

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Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Underwear Drawer

I once heard someone say that you can tell a lot about a girl from the type Of undergarments that she wears, specifically her panties. If this is true, then you Should be able to tell a lot more by the condition and contents of her under wear drawer. More thongs than not? Girl probably has a pretty good, and gets a lot of ass. More white cotton panties than thongs? Most likely a girl who likes to give it up to one guy At a time, in the safe confines of a relationship. All granny panties? Virgin or fat girl. Lace equals traditional sex appeal and romance, and microfiber satin and leather shows independent spirit, a willingness To try new things. 

Upon inspection and fanatic organization of my underwear drawer I have come to see that it is the perfect balance-an equilibrium it you will, between good girl, and nymphet.

OK well, I have one g-string, two thongs, a multitude of lacy boy shorts and then, white, black, red and pink cotton low rider parties. Then the bras. Microfiber --mostly Black-- satin, no leather, a bit of lace. I  admit to buying the same bra in several different colors. What does that say about me? Well, I can tell you for damn certain that I am dangerously under sexed. And maybe allota-bit picky. It must be nice to have the ability to go out there and have no-strings-  attached sex. I could do that, probably IF I wasn't afraid of contracting a sexually  transmitted disease. But that's not the only thing: I guess I also sorta have intimacy issues. I cant really--I've never been able to enjoy sex with someone I don't love. Weather that's a strength, weakness, Virtue or short coming I'm not exactly sure of yet. The same thing goes with my loyalty complex.

But anyways, back to the under wear thing. while my drawer Speaks less than volumes,  there are certain rules that I ponder or lack there of- the under wear rules, the panty laws. I mean are you allowed to wear panties from an ex when you're having horizontal time with a new guy? What about The ex's favorite pair? Are those off limits too? Well, those rules don't really matter. I mean, are you really going to randomly have story time, and tell new guy the history of said panties? In the end it all depends on you, it's not like you want to be thinking about your ex while you're having relations with Mr. New guy. But there probably is no emotional underwear attachment policy. Its the people who have and make attachments. Not panties and boxer briefs.
7:35 AM Posted by Unknown 0
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Friday, September 13, 2013

Remember?

Memory is such a fickle, funny thing. Sometimes I can't remember what i did ten minutes ago, but i can remember an event that took place years and years ago. Funny, right?

Memories can be sparked by simple sensory things, like the smell of a book, the taste of sweet tea, and even the sound of some random stranger's laughter.
2:36 PM Posted by Unknown 0
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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

touchy subject matter

I believe in God. I don’t particularly know why I do, I just know that I do believe that there is a supreme being. I do not, however, believe in religion.

Ignorance of religious faiths isn’t something I’m guilty of. My parents dutifully sent me to Sunday school and even a religious high school. I learned of other faiths from close friends, and even accompanied them to their places of worship, listening to their sermons, speeches and lectures. My father avidly followed interfaith debates, and heard them too. I have read verses from most all holy books, in their various interpretations. I know of religions. I just don’t believe in them.

My lack of faith in religion doesn’t mean that I think all religions are wrong. I agree with certain parts of all religions. They aren’t all bad. If they were, there would be a lot less faithful followers around the world today. All religions overlap. Be good to your parents, don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t steal, serve others etc etc…those are rules and guidelines found in most every religious tome and creed. I like that overlap. I agree with that overlap, with the basic humanity driven rules. Treat others as you would like to be treated. That is what I live by.

The reasons I say that I don’t believe in religion are: firstly, I cannot commit entirely to the commands and obligations of a certain faith; secondly, I find the conflicting and numerous details of religion tiresome, and lastly I cannot willingly enter into a state where people are differentiated and separated because of their beliefs.

My first reason has a simple logic behind it: “all or nothing.” In other words, why half ass it? You cant say I’m part Christian, part Muslim; you have to pick one. Once you choose a faith to follow, you can’t follow only certain parts of a religion. You can’t say “I’ll celebrate Christmas, but not Easter.” I, myself, cannot say that I am a member of a religion without following it out to the letter. I’d be a liar if I said I was a Jew and never observed the Sabbath, if I said i was a Catholic and never participated in lent, if i said i was a Muslim and never did my five daily prayers. It would be a farce, playing pretend, untrue.

The logic behind the second reason is also quite simple. All religions are basically the same. All that differs are the minuscule details that I find (no offense intended on this) insignificant. One detail is the messenger, the other is the status of Jesus, another which day of the week is holy, one more is where to worship, one more is when to fast, one more detail is where and how to give your charity. Details! All of that is just detail! I cannot be bothered to sort thru all those details. Why are these details so important if the core and bulk of any faith is virtually the same?

The third reason that I am a bit apathetic to religion goes back to my belief in God. I cannot believe that God wants to separate people into groups that use his name to wage war and create oppression and genocide. The Crusades to spread Christianity, the Wars waged to spread Islam, the enslavement of the Hebrews…all were undertaken in the name of religion and God. I’m not exactly down with that.

Live and let live is more my speed. As long as someone’s beliefs aren’t hurting anyone, I have no issue. However, because of those three reasons i refrain from choosing one specific faith to follow and live by. What’s so wrong with taking the basic humanitarian side of all faiths and running with it? I have friends and even a boyfriend who incessantly tries to proselytize and indoctrinate me into ANY faith. They just cannot understand why i don’t particularly want to follow any religion. This may be because they are of eastern culture, and don’t understand the concept of minding their own business. They don’t understand how i can believe in God, and yet have no leanings whatsoever in terms of religion.

My response was only: Which came first, God or religion?

After which ensued a lengthy debate on the worldliness of my view, the evil that would consume my soul and the invalidity of my beliefs, the feebleness of my prayers…which only strengthened my lack of faith-God forbid I ever become that small minded and unyielding. I said to them: “Without religion, I can respect and accept your customs, beliefs, ceremony and self without insult or forcefulness. You, with your professed faith and religion, cannot respect or accept me or my beliefs or customs, and furthermore belittle my beliefs and insult my integrity. Who has the better teacher?”

I hope I never let fear govern my faith and beliefs. And from what I’ve seen thus far is that most religions instill fear. While I choose not to follow a particular religion, I recognize and respect other peoples choices to follow, believe and adhere to their choice of religion. All I ask is for the same courtesy. As I respect other peoples right to choose and their choices, I ask that my right to choose the choice of “none of the above” be respected as well.

xoxo

r.monroe
12:16 PM Posted by Unknown 0
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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Second Guessing

I made a mistake. I make the same mistake. Over and over and over again. The result is the same. I lose, because I love.

It isn't fair. I love, deep, true, and endlessly. When will I get the same? It hurts because i never want the past to get in the way of the future. I can't hold the past against someone who wasnt in it, can i?

I'll stop loving you. I must.
11:25 AM Posted by Unknown 0
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lines

there is nothing like a blade
pressed against the skin
wielded by a lover
who has lost their love for thee
no sound as needless blood spills
to the exhalation of dispair
that for to long has been
held within the deepest heart

who is anyone to say
what is right and what is not
who has lost and who has won
no one, no one, no one

dreams have been discounted
life slowly drags along
crawling in a vain attempt
to keep up with the throng
that blade it keeps on sawing
the dullness doesn't help
because blood must spill
it is the will
of the weakling that i am

press it harder
press it deeper
maybe a goal is set
to drift away
this very day

i cannot think tonight.
11:20 AM Posted by Unknown 0
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Friday, December 17, 2010

the difference between

the difference between you and i:

You get mad, i quietly sit beside you and listen.
i get mad, you walk away and tell me im wrong and stupid.

how wonderfully fair.
9:31 AM Posted by Unknown 0
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Monday, October 18, 2010

live lie

There seems to be an underlying thread of make believe in my life. A large part pretend, a good part dishonest: with myself and innumerable others. It seems as if it is so much easier to tell others what they want to hear than the truth or cruxes of matters. Why? Because they cannot accept things that don’t fit in neatly with their lives, their feelings, their views.

If I look at the past year of my life I see that I have remained silent, inert and unyielding. I spoke no words to defend me, for I knew they would fall on deaf ears. But in this silence I reached a complacent loneliness, a resigned recognition of the loss of intelligent argument and respected disagreement. I came to realize, they wouldn’t accept my variance from the norm, my deviating values and logic. And of this rejection, the snubs, rebuffs and total disregard of opinion: I was completely responsible.

The difference in culture, wasn’t a result of an education and field of experience vastly divergent from theirs, and therefore did not account for my contradictory opinions and lifestyle. But my refusal to adapt completely to their views was to blame for my waywardness. I am still to be faulted for being a flawed, stubborn individual. there is great fault, after all, in holding values dear to your heart; values instilled in you as a child; values that have served you well all your life.

Instead of voicing my arguments; tired of never going forward, I relied on silence. The deception of silence was near flawless. Silence never confirmed or denied, accepted or rejected, agreed or disagreed. Silence was my weapon, silence was my curse. My silence bought me peace from incessant nagging, but thrust the loneliness of appearing aloof and distant in the deepest reaches of my heart. Silence, though not torture, brings but small comfort. In it, there is none of my truth. It is artful, my artificial silent self. because in the silence are the lies.
10:42 AM Posted by Unknown 0
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